The BFF Show

The BFF Show #36: "Jesus Never Rode a Sturgeon"

2010-12-24T11:52:00.001-08:00

The tradition continues.... it just wouldn't be Christmas without a visit from your BFFs. The show turns 2 this year, so please accept this little gift from us to you.... it's sort of like herpes... you can't give it back. By the way, if you happen to see Jesus, tell him happy birthday and buy him a shot, don't worry the fish is giving him a ride home.

Happy Holidays, Habari Gani- Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Festivus, Happy Hanukkah- and Fuck you if you don't like Christmas.

Your BFFs...

Mikey and Sean J

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: (762) BFF SHOW 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show
Here

The BFF Show #35- "As The Cricket Chirps"

2010-09-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

A wise man once said "Good things come to those who wait.." but you poor bastards just get a new BFF Show. Join us as we tell you what we've been doing that was so much more important than recording a new show. Yeah.... we're lazy fucks.

Don't forget to have this website handy so you can follow along during the post show festivities.... it's fun for the whole family!!

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: (762) BFF SHOW 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show
Here

The BFF Show # 34: The BFF Goes Blue

2010-07-15T22:16:00.000-07:00

If it wasn't for bad luck, we wouldn't have any luck at all.... so find pleasure in our misery. Oh... and watch out for the guy hiding behind the big rock throwing shit.... he has a great aim

(p.s. to fully enjoy the show art.... review the pic after listening to the show..... it all makes sense)

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: (762) BFF SHOW 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show
Here

The BFF Show #33- "What Had Happened Was..."

2010-06-29T19:48:00.000-07:00

So... the BFF's have decided to add one more wolf to our wolf pack. Will Ross joins Mikey and Sean J for this episode of the BFF Show for some three way fun. One is stoned, one is distracted by shiny shit, and the other wonders how the fuck he got into this mess..... Sit back and relax kids, this is one long ride.

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: (762) BFF SHOW (762-233-7469)

* Subscribe to the Show Here
* Listen to the Show
Here

The BFF Show #32: The Negro Sniffer

2010-06-27T16:53:00.002-07:00

What's up BFF'ers? At long last, part three of our marathon recording session is available. Fire up your IMDB and listen to two babbling whores that love the sound of their own voices.... alcohol and brownies might enhance your listening experience on this one. Enjoy......

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: (762) BFF SHOW (762-233-7469)

* Subscribe to the Show Here
* Listen to the Show
Here

The BFF Show #31: Straight Mansex

2010-06-27T16:53:00.001-07:00

What's up BFF'ers? We're back with part two of our marathon recording

session..... and it's an honest look at where the male mind goes after

midnight.....

Need an education in the ways of love? Wondering if what you just did is

considered sex? Need help with your game? Do you like movies about

gladiators? We cover them all in this show.... well maybe not the

gladiators.... unless, of course, they're Muslim. From techniques, to

numbers of partners, to proper- or improper- pubic maintenance.... this

show is the BFF contribution to continuing sex education.

Check out the mug shot we discussed on this show right here

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: (762) BFF SHOW (762-233-7469)

* Subscribe to theShow Here
* Listen to the Show
Here

The BFF Show #30: Drinking the Dirty Monkey

2010-06-27T16:52:00.000-07:00

Ahoy Mateys.... sit right back and hear a tale of some drunken trips in an island paradise and on big ass sailing ships.

That's right, we're talking about our tropical adventures...... tune in to hear about Sean visiting a Dominican school with a raging alcohol induced boner. Also, Mikey mistakenly attempts to plunder underage Italian booty on the high seas.

All this and so much more on this installment of The BFF Show.....

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: (762) BFF SHOW (762-233-7469)

* Subscribe to the Show Here
* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #29 - Hockey Hemorrhaging

2010-06-27T16:50:00.002-07:00

Welcome to the first BFF Show of 2010.... we got lost, hopefully you weren't too lost without us....

Your
BFFs are taking it to the streets with Google Maps. Sean J is in search

of Mikey's house.... and then promptly invites himself over.

If she's not resting in peace.... "Night Night Britney Murphy, sleep tight hon."

Song: "Boom!" by The Roots

BFF advice- When you're masturbating in a ditch with your underwear around your neck, don't show your crank to the cops.

Mikey
admits that he's starting to like sports for the first time in his

life, and he's becoming more Canadian by the day.. Sean reveals a

traumatic childhood memory that scarred him for life.

Song: "Edge of the World" by Faith No More

We learn that Sean J is completely full o' shit.... and that bastard deserves an Oscar.

Your
BFFs are the foremost authorities on crappy pubs. Want to learn where

you can get in a fight, fall down the stairs, find a one night stand,

and get banned for life? Listen on friends....

A new "Play at Home Game" is invented..... What am I Scratching?

Finally,
Sean's shirtless podcast adventure leads us to discuss the most

homosexual straight guys in the world..... how much is that airfare??

And
that about does it for this episode of The BFF Show.... please stow all

carry on items, return your tray tables to the upright and locked

position and resume and maintain your erect position.....

until next time......

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: (762) BFF SHOW (762-233-7469)

* Subscribe to the Show Here
* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #28: A BFF Fuckin' Christmas

2010-06-27T16:50:00.001-07:00

Happy Holidays from The BFF Show. Listen to our Christmas Extravaganza/ 1 year anniversary show or we'll beat you with a stick until you shit.

Merry Fucking Christmas-

Mikey and Sean J

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #27 - Poutine Prison

2010-06-27T16:49:00.002-07:00

Fuck Hi BS Brigade, How you doin? Welcome to The BFF Show #27...here we go.

Ever wonder what the exchange rate has to do with the age of consent? Yeah... so do we. We also wonder how long Mikey would last in a Kenyan jail.

It's Grey Cup weekend... pour some gravy on the cottage cheese and join your BFFs for the festivities. Mikey's money is on The Edmonton School for the Deaf. Oh..and don't forget your wet naps.

Song: "Goin' Down South" by R.L. Burnside

A Japanese guy marries his gameboy... we aren't surprised. If you want to hear two bumbling assholes attempt to discuss the sanctity of marriage, stay tuned...

Song: "Whitey on the Moon" by Gil Scott-Heron

This angry rant leads us to your BFF Black History Moment where we honor Guion S. Bluford, aka "Blackie on the Moon".

Sean J dislikes fabricated ethnic names, Notorious, Americous, and Vagina... hope you can take a punch.

One thing Sean does like is drunks. A dancing drunk driver leads to much DUI talk and Mikey comes clean about getting clean. In an odd turn of events, the outro song cuts us off before Sean can share his story... how convenient.

Hope you enjoyed this installment of The BFF Show, keep your eyes peeled for the 1 year anniversary/Holiday edition coming soon.... Fuck Bye!

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #26- The Brazillian Boner Spider

2010-06-27T16:49:00.001-07:00

Hi BS Brigade... in search of winter driving tips, detoxification, or a month long boner? Well you've come to the right place..... let's dive into this one, shall we?

It seems that the annual Canadian Tire winter games have begun. Sean J has secured a gold medal in the men's downhill competition.

Sean consults none other than Slim Goodbody about his new diet. Mikey thinks that any diet that requires consumption of liquids while standing on your head is not only dangerous, but foolish as well.

The BFF Show takes a moment to remember singer Haydain Neale, who passed away recently. Haydain was the front man for Jacksoul, an incredible singer, and a staple in the Canadian music scene.

Song: Jacksoul- "1979"

Song: Jacksoul- "I Think You Should Know"

The new Jacksoul album "SoulMate" drops on Dec 1. Proceeds are going to benefit Haydain's family. If you are interested in purchasing the new disk check out www.jacksoul.com or Amazon: Canada or USA.

In bizarre news, Mikey talks about spiders on a plane, Sean J talks about jedis and drops an N-Bomb.

Song: Deep Blue Sun- "Sideshow"

We got hate mail. It seems some people just don't get it..... so Sean drops the C-bomb.

Looks like Taylor Swift is pissed off at some podunk bar in Idaho for playing her music. Much discussion on artists rights, record companies, and one smart assed DJ follow.

Be sure to stay tuned after the show and be cleansed with your BFFs.

This episode of The BFF Show was brought to you by the word "Taint" (Thanks to the Geeky White Guy)

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #25 - My Gay Computer

2010-06-27T16:48:00.001-07:00

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman went for a round of golf and their wives went along as caddies.

While walking around the course the English man's wife caught her foot in a rabbit hole, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground. Her skirt was over her head revealing that she wasn't wearing any knickers! The Englishman stormed over and angrily demanded a reason for her state of undress.

"Well darling," she explained, "you give me so little allowance that I have to make the odd sacrifice. Usually no one notices."

The Englishman thrusts his hand into his pocket and said, "Here's a ten spot. Go to Mark's and Spencer's and get some knickers."

Two holes further along the Irish Man's wife caught her foot on a molehill, tripped up and landed in a heap on the ground. Again her skirt was up over her head revealing that she wasn't wearing any knickers either! The Irish man was livid and he angrily demanded a reason for her lack of undergarments.

"Well darling," she explained, "you give me so little allowance I cannot afford to buy undergarments."

With that the Irish man thrust his hand into his pocket and said, "Here's a five spot. Go to Woolworth's and get some knickers."

Three holes further on, the Scottish man's wife caught her foot on an exposed root, tripped up and landed with her skirt over her head revealing that even she wore no knickers! Her explanation to her irate husband was the same as the others. Simply a lack of allowance.

The Scottish man thrust his hand into his pocket and said, "Here's a comb. At least you can tidy yourself up a bit."

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #24 - Little League UFC

2010-06-27T16:47:00.000-07:00

Howdy BS Brigade... how the hell are ya? Here we go again.... another hour of shit. We start out with a potty break (quality) and some wrestling talk. Aren't they one in the same?? Our advice... avoid the camel clutch.

Shenanigans and tomfoolery are abound in Edmonton. Hostage situation results in mistaken identity. We want to tell the wrongly accused a poop joke, if it's ok with Der Kommissar.

Spontaneous research bites us in the ass.... wrongs are righted, and the curtain is pulled back. We also provide several options of how things might have gone in a perfect world... pick your favorite and ignore the rest.

Song: Woodfish- "Bamm Diddly"

Sean analyzes Mikey's dreams.... and distorts it for his own twisted amusement. What we're all wondering.... why is that on your computer Sean??? The world may never know......

We extend the olive branch to the Gapage boys in an effort to put this little feud to rest. Time for a little musical number dedicated to our buddies the Gapers.... Enjoy.

Song: Blowfly- "Sesame Street"

This song inspires about 10 minutes of queefing...... yet another BFF moment not to miss.

Band fail time once again... this time Heart, provided by Canadian listener S. Joyner. Hot Rocker Chicks spiral down to shit....stop whining and talking about love, play a F'n guitar. By the way... we're still looking for a name for this segment.... also bands that have failed. Speaking of which, sorry for yet another KISS rant... those bastards.

There's nothing sexier than girls fighting on wheels.... unless they have cricket bats. But it's not the best sport ever invented.... tune in to find out what is.

BS Brigade homework: Gapage theme song ideas, Band Fails, and a name for the segment that features band fails.

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #23: What Would Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel Do?

2010-06-27T16:46:00.000-07:00

It's skull crackin' time!!! Welcome to The BFF Show with your hosts what's his name and that other guy.

Lock and load BS Brigade, the war is on. It seems that not only have the Gapage guys declared war on your BFFs, they've also insulted each and every listener (aka The BS Brigade) including themselves. Der Kommisar will not be pleased. You may get a stick stuck in your potato.

Song: Captain Tractor"The Last Saskatchewan Pirate"

We debate the band fail, KISS, sent in by Melanie of the BS Brigade. Whatshisname likes their older stuff, Whatchamajigger doesn't like them at all.... we'll call this one a draw.

Song: Big Joe Williams "Worried Man Blues"

When renaming yourself, always ask.. "What Would Seal Do?" On a related note.... watch for WWSD? schwag for your lonely wrists.

Thanks for the continued support, The BS Brigade rocks, no matter what the Gapes say...

Comments, compliments, suggestions, and bitches are always welcome.... give us a shout. Let us know what "band fails" you would like to hear... might get a mention on the show.

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

just in case we didn't mention it enough on the show.... that's

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

Blow it out your asses Gapers

The BFF Show #22 - Matt & Kim's Funky Charleston

2010-06-27T16:45:00.002-07:00

Greetings, BS Brigade! And welcome to a very special episode of The BFF Show. No, not Facts of Life "tuck your kids in early" special, but special, nonetheless.

This week, Mikey had a chance to sit down with The BFF Show's new favorite group. Matt & Kim. And when we finally get around to actually playing the interview, we prove why The BFF Show is the OFFICIAL MTV Video Award Winning Podcast (non-video edition).

As always, we'd love to hear from you. If you have anything to bring to the show - or just want to bitch - hit us up!

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #21 - Phylicia Allen's Chicken Blood

2010-06-27T16:45:00.001-07:00

We launch this next hours of cleverly-cloaked racism with a callback to the previous show. As Mikey's joke at the end of the show went completely over Sean J's head, we've had to re-dub Brent the Closet Geek "Der Kommissar" of the BFF BS Brigade. He has graciously accepted.

Today, we have a special treat - for you, not us. Because for us, it was downright painful to discuss. There are so many bands that have had such a drastic fall over the years, we thought we'd bring some of them to the table for you. As always, we count on your input. If you have a band you'd like us to cover, send it to bffshow@gmail.com, and we'll bring it to the show!

Another fun thing to do, when the paint is dry and you're eying both your wrist and the straight-edged razor by the sink, is to guess which of the BFFs chose which bands.

Here's a hint: one of us is black; the other is Mikey.

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #20- Egg McEgg

2010-06-27T16:43:00.002-07:00

That's right kids... they're back!! They taste great... they're less filling.. and they're still full of shit, it's the one and only BFF Show.

This episode of The BFF Show may change, even save, your life. Not only do we discuss the potential racism of a fast food mascot for the last 50 years... we dedicate this show to the only thing that a black Canadian and a midwestern redneck have in common, of course this one's all about fried chicken.

It seems that KFC is test marketing a drive thru heart attack. They have selected the fine folks of Rhode Island and Nebraska as their victims...uh... test panel. As luck has it, Mikey lives in Nebraska.... so he was the poor bastard who got to try the above pictured "KFC Double Down"

Your BFFs seem to enjoy the health food... as Mikey prepares to eat a chicken, cheese, bacon and chicken sandwich, Sean J introduces a new McDonalds menu item...Egg McEgg? We also learn that not everything in Canada is covered in gravy, mayo, or cheese curds.

Song- "My KFC Girl" by Floyd's Garage

It's common knowledge that a certain Colonel was a slave owner, but your BFFs may have uncovered evidence of pedophilia as well. Anyhow.... after a discussion of the 7 secret herbs and spices, including paprika, slave blood, and love... we learn of the excellent customer service record of KFC. Studies show that they're at the top of the list. Chicks with mustaches are ok... but back fur and goatees are over the line.

And ladies and gentlemen..... it's sandwich time. From this point on, Mikey does the show with a mouthful of chicken boob. Not saying that's anything unusual, we just acknowledge it this time. Of course we want to push it to the limit, Sean J offers up $100 for Mikey to gorge himself on these things, in his back yard, naked.... most likely 100 Canadian. Oh... the Colonel stole my clothes and called me Toby.

Song: "A Chicken Ain't Nothing But a Bird" by Cab Calloway

Mikey, aka "Captain Health", used to be a slow food salesman... his best seller, Plantation Fried Chicken, narrowly beating out Mammie's. He spends the rest of the show bitching about his left side going numb. What a Chapostard.

We announce the formation of a new fan club of sorts... The BFF BS Brigade. Want to become a member... leave us a voice mail and you're in. The listener question: What band do you think rocked in the 70s but sucked ass in the 80s?

Stick around for the after show "bonus material" to see the aftermath of the artery clogger... and hear a great sthong.

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #19: Mannequin 3 - Revenge Of The Cocksman

2010-06-27T16:43:00.001-07:00

Wow - is it that time already? Great, well, there's no better way to start off a show than with a little "who's tougher" talk. This time, the battle's between Mad Max and Waterworld - Sean's money's on Waterworld, as dry land isn't a myth.

Sean's still trying to make a little money on the side to afford a new bike, and this week, a great opportunity fell into his lap. Before you break out the credit cards, ladies, no. He's not selling any bodily fluids.

Mikey reveals that one of his childhood heroes was none other than Mr. T. Thankfully, we've got some music on hand.

Song: Fishbone - Jack Ass Brigade

After a voicemail from Eric, who promises a "Mikey shits his pants" story, we get into some riveting voicemail comparisons. While Sean's may be the worst song in the history of movies, it just may be the best ringtone. Apparently, Mikey's 1991 analog cell phone ring can't compare.

Song: The Lonely Island - Ras Trent

Mikey's movie review takes an interesting turn when we discover that the movie he watched was about a man who bought a sex doll and drags it around town as if it were real. On an unrelated note, Mikey's girlfriend, Liz, has still not been heard on the show... I'm just sayin'.

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #18: Longer, Wider, Canadian

2010-06-27T16:42:00.002-07:00

Here come those bastards, Mikey and Sean J, with another edition of The BFF Show.

After a nice big drink of refreshing red wine, we learn the word of the day... adobe... or is that abode?? Or maybe buffalo???

If you work for Sean J, don't piss him off.... or you and Twiggy the waterskiing squirrel will be getting to know each other really well.....does Twiggy have a theme song?? This leads us to a lesson on business etiquette, BFF style.

Song: "First I Look at the Purse"- The Contours

We get the "Ultimate Opinion" on the death of Michael Jackson, unfortunately it's not from Phil Donahue... who is not dead.

Song: "Unforgiven"- Iron Horse

Back by popular demand..it's 20 questions time once again... the topic: Pro Wrestling... now welcome your host Sunshine Shaw. The winner gets a fat of BeerT.

Song: "Way Down in the Hole"- Blind Boys of Alabama

Alrighty Whitey it's phobia time... most don't apply to your BFFs. We fear nothing.... except clowns, hights, and spiders. Put a spider in makeup in a high place... and we will shit our catheter... grab a chisel. BTW did you know that spiders absorb acid thru their feet and bellies? Ask us, we'll tell you...

Song: "Bukkake Udon Song"- Astroninja

Wanted: Asian cheerleader videos..... wonder where we can find some of those.....

The Canadian ones are longer and wider than American ones..... and John Goodman is still not dead.

That's it for this orgy of bullshit we call The BFF Show... hope it was as good for you as it was for us. Catch ya on the flip side...

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show 17: The Going Rate Of Bodily Fluids

2010-06-27T16:42:00.001-07:00

We are tonight's entertainment, and welcome to another edition of The BFF Show. The boys are off to a roaring start, debating which was a bigger death - MJ or EP. Still - even though those country folk love 'em, Sean's money is on MJ.

It's ponderous, the depths of some people's disconnection to the real world. We receive another wrong number from the Seattle area - even after Mikey's extended greeting. But before we get into the voicemail line...

At long last, Mikey presents his big announcement. Sounds like someone's a charmer, and The BFF Show's first power couple - from here on to be known as "The Miz" - is born

Now, on to the good stuff - selling bodily fluids on eBay. Mikey thinks it should be illegal, while I'm more for the free distribution of blood, sperm and eye snot.

Song #1 - Eugene McDaniels - Welfare City

In the last few months, the BFFs have been going to quite a few concerts. Most notably, Sean went to Leonard Cohen, and Mikey attended none other than Mr. Les Claypool. Rumor is, there's an interview floating around there, but you won't hear it here.

Song #2 - Les Claypool - Booneville Stomp

If there are two things Canadians do well, it's gather and drink. The voicemails that we received in the last week profile both of these activities perfectly - thanks to Bob Goyetche, Mark Blevis and, of course, Chris Sherry. Next year in Ottawa, we might have to have a BFF vs. PAB Showdown!

Until next time, good night, fuckers!

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show 16: Double Doogies- A BFF Birthday

2010-06-27T16:41:00.000-07:00

And now for a very special episode of The BFF Show.....

Gimme gimme gimme... give me some more.... more impersonations, more Mikey bashing, and yes... more of Sean J screwing shit up.

We have discovered that Mikey and Sean J were actually born mere days apart, thus the actual birth of The BFF Show has been documented. We expect gifts next year damn it. Belated gifts always accepted as well...

Sean J tells us about Craigslist etiquette while Mikey tells a tale of his dad and online business dealings with Liberia boy.

It's camping season... Sean J, the avid camper, has frozen his ass off twice already and enjoyed the misery of others while camping in the rain. Mikey just talked about pitching tents.

Song: "Too bad on your birthday"- Joan Jett

Sean J not only lost the clip, but also all the contact information.... Mikey saves the day..... again. He also got his name wrapped up in a very serious project.... attached to a very moronic smart assed quote... way to go kid... nice clown get up...

Check out the Ocean Day vid here

Our birthdays just happen to fall at the beginning of summer, so we decided to celebrate summer with music and memories....

Song: "Little Pink Houses" John Mellencamp

This tune reminds Mikey of summers past, growing up in a pyrotechnic family, amusement parks, and bottle rocket fights... Sean J forgets the contact info once again.

*Rant Alert* Mikey rants about pampered pussies as Sean J talks of sliding into first...hilarity ensues.

Summer memories lead us to a story about Sean J transforming a family heirloom into a funky fresh accessory.

Song: "Summertime" DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince

Sean explains his decision to play Will Smith and why it sucks to be a DJ.

Summer anthem 2009:

Sean J- "One by One"-The Black Seeds

We visit Slug National Forrest- the Canadian camping hot spot.

After a slight misunderstanding we come to Mikey's summer anthem 2009:

"Chicken Fried"- Zac Brown Band

The BFF Show is backlogged on topics.... conversational constipation if you will. Stay tuned for that...

That does it for this edition of The BFF Show. We here at The BFF Show know you have a choice in your mindless babble, thanks for choosing us... See ya next time kids.

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #15 - The Cotton-Wrapped Tongue

2010-06-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to the second (official) Old School Friday on the BFF Show! Let's start the foot-stomping fun, shall we?

Apparently, you guys enjoy the animal impression, so I'm planning an all-animal BFF Show in the near future.

Sean still has a hoarse voice, but it's mostly Mikey's fault. He says that the dead taste buds due to smoking feels like a cotton sandwich.

Of course, the cottonmouth didn't hinder the taste of the special brownies - made especially for the Leonard Cohen show, which was the greatest concert Sean J has ever seen (and that's saying a lot).

We also find out that Sean and Mikey have something in common - the log cabin they go to in their heads when the screaming becomes too much.

Song #1 - Leonard Cohen - The Future

For a change of pace, Mikey won't let Sean J get a story out - it's not so much fun on this side of the window! Regardless, the conversation sways to Sean's attempt at a healthier life - despite the alcoholism, cigars and "brownies."

Thanks to some listener feedback, we've implemented a new Wrestling Talk Speed Round Enjoy!

When talking about Diff'rent Strokes, it's often overlooked - the hardcore sexual relationship between Willis and Kimberly - specifically, the hog-ties and roofies.

Last time on the show, Sean had some fun when Mikey lit himself on fire. Karma's a bitch. A whorish, slutty bitch, and Sean just spilled dead foot skin shavings into his keyboard.

Song #2 - Run DMC - Tougher Than Leather

As well-written as Careless Whisper was, Sean J doesn't think it translates well to "butt-rock." Mikey vehemently disagrees. One of the two is wrong - place your bets, folks!

After a little remake talk, it's time for 20 Questions with Mikey! We soon learn that Mikey is the absolute worst 20 Questions player in history.

Thanks for tuning in to The BFF Show and look for more in the very near future... we plan to pile it on pretty deep.

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #14- Open Wide for Dr. Touch N. Feel

2010-06-27T16:39:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the shownotes for The BFF Show #14... I'm Mikey and he's Sean J... and we start this one off in a very stupid way..and it's all due to Sean's horse voice... don't ask, it only gets worse from here folks.

Because of Brent or Ken (not sure which one.. we can't tell them apart) from Gapage, we now run a very tight clock here on The BFF Show, with Sean J and Mikey.

Sean J brings up some shit from Mikey's personal life... and it ain't pretty.. stay tuned to see what kind of mark this one leaves...

Song: "Get Back (Drum & Clap)"- Lefties Soul Connection

Now back to shownotes for The BFF Show.. He's Sean J and I'm Mikey....

The realization that Mikey is worse than a parrot when it comes to repeating things leads us to yet another horrible BFF Show celebrity imitation... this edition, Michael Winslow.

We get too much information about Mikey's visit to Dr. Touch N. Feel. Sean questions Mikey's remembory of this event. Mikey thinks Sean's remembory is affected by his Sleeman intake.

Sean's doctor busted him at a titty bar while looking for his dad.... oops. BTW... BFF Show... Mikey and Sean J... you know the routine.

Song: "Shine All The Time" - Blue Moon Ghetto

Did you know that Jr. High dance boners cause "Black Ass Syndrome"? well you do now....

Wanna watch your self esteem go right down the shitter? Want to feel like even more of a loser freak than you already are? Play at home as Mikey and Sean J, of The BFF Show, play " The Biggest Deformity".

Wanna get Mikey really pissed off? Become smitten with his horse and thrown horseshit at him. Beware... he has been known to use trailer houses as weapons...

And the lesson for the day kids... Losing your sight isn't fun... This message brought to you from Mikey and Sean J of The BFF Show.. now cue the music...

Song : "Have Fun With Your Penis"- Self Righteous Brothers

Results of " The Biggest Deformity" : Mikey- wonky eye, gymnast shoulders, deviated septum. Sean J- a perfect bloody anus. Yes you heard right... the brother has a bleeding ulsa that kept us from recording. Of course Mikey has a conspiracy theory about this.... damn Gapage hosers.

Song: "I See Lights"- King Kahn

A black ogre tells us a story about a woman running her ass slap over with her own truck... alcohol may have been a factor...

We wrap up with Mikey's tale of running himself over with a Three Wheeler...resulting in a black skid mark on his head.... Sean accuses him of trying to wear black face, and finally puts this show out of it's misery...

Thanks for tuning in to The BFF Show #14... stay tuned for the next installment that may include "Mikey's black friend" and "The BFF/Gapage shit off" . On behalf of my co-host Sean J, This is Mikey bidding you adieu and thanking you for listening to The BFF Show.

Bonus Material: Experience the magic as one BFF has a potentially serious accident as the other mocks him... it's HOT!!!

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show #13 - The Boxed Wine And Penis Diet

2010-06-27T16:38:00.000-07:00

Welcome to (possibly) the last BFF Show. My name's Sean J, and I'll be your official news-bearer.

Since my voice was going south throughout the entire show, you're experiencing a much raspier, chokier Sean J.

Okay, so maybe it's not the last show, but if ol' show-sniper Mikey shoots down any more ideas...

Song #1 - K-os - 4,3,2,1

Mikey has a story about a guy who bit the tip of his penis off - needless to say, this sparked a few follow-up questions.

And what ever happened to Prescription Med Jenna?

Song #2 - Beebe- Come Harder

The last song reminds me that I have a fetish. Girls in bands who are NOT the lead singer - drummers, bassists. I have absolutely no control!

Okay, time for cigarillo talk. Swisher Sweets made me feel fruity - maybe I'll stick to boxed wine.

Song #3 - Bloodhound Gang - A Lapdance Is So Much Better When a Stripper Is Crying

Who loves Canada more than Billy-Bob Thornton? Apparently, everybody. Thanks to his talentless shit band, we've got some great audio clips on an interview conducted on a Canadian network. Eat ass, Sling Blade.

Song #4 - Korben- Super Selfish

Superfan Brent calls in to the show, criticizing last week's caller, Jake, and coining the term "Vacsturbation" in reference to a story from last week.

Brent's Gapage cohost, Ken, calls in as a response. Apparently, Brent's been spending too much time with The BFFs and not enough with his local cohort.

Mikey recaps a story about a trip to Canada, laughs at our accents and reminisces about sore asses in Ontario.

The BFFs will be back next week with another show. Hopefully, I'll have my voice back and Mikey will start drinking again - I miss the 3am drunk call to my voicemail.

Later, all!

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The Bff Show #12 Norkin' Grimace

2010-06-27T16:37:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the long awaited next BFF Show #12- Norkin' Grimace... don't worry, it will all make sense in the end... literally. This is your lovable, cuddly, furry BFF Mikey and I'll be your guide for these ramblings of two assholes who don't really have a clue between them.

We start off by lifting the curtain to give you a peek behind the scenes of The BFF Show and let you see how the magic is created. Songs must be downloaded and uploaded, files shared, equipment tested or turned on, watches synchronized, and we must make sure that both hosts are properly clothed. Next we must make sure not to completely fuck up the recording set up. Take a moment to grab a dictionary and look up "technical difficulty". Let me know if this photo appears next to that word.

It seems that every BFF Show starts in this manner, Sean J tripping over something, knocking something over, unplugging something and the rest of the show is spent hoping it works.... leading us into a discussion about a wireless world. Sean wants a wireless block heater so he isn't subject to pranks by rowdy Canadian youths, I just want a wireless fridge.

We move on to real life and BFF life colliding. There have been some instances of accidental invites to the BFF world, but none have really caused problems... except you Corby... Sean J says you're outta here, I fight on your side because you kept me from shitting my pants in California after a tragic Inn & Out "animal style" dining experience... thanks bro.

fries animal style

Mikey's laid off... and he don't care. We discuss me being eye candy at my job for my last week at work. I think I'll be missed... due to my worth ethic, smart ass, and witty banter. Sean J thinks I'm doomed. Somehow during this exchange we learn that Tracy Morgan and Sean J both agree.. Edmonton women have big clitorises. Speaking of seafood... Sean had some delicious fresh squid from Edmonton's vast ocean front. He also was stopped by the Mounties in the parking lot before going in to the casino to see a sticky Tracy Morgan. Shucky Ducky

Song: Shel Silverstein- " I Got Stoned and I Missed It"

We hear a story about a 51 year old passing out at his own party and having his balls set on fire by an 18 year old guest. The obvious discussion follows... why the hell is there an 18 year old partying with a 51 year old? Why did the 18 year old feel obligated to light 51 year old balls on fire? Why does Mikey think he does a good Family Guy pedophile impression?

After some personal experiences with passed out pranks.... we learn that should you be the first to pass out at a BFF party and there's a magic marker close at hand, there's a good chance you may end up with a penis traced on your cheek, a political billboard on your chest, or Sean's racism written all over your face.

Song: Man Bites God- Peppermint Superfrog

Listener Jake chimes in to start the war of the concerts... Metallica vs. Leonard Cohen. The verdict? Old School Rules.... St. Anger blows goats. Jury's still out on Death Magnetic. Thanks for the call Jake! If you'd like to leave a voice mail here's the digits 206-350-1358 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 206-350-1358 end_of_the_skype_highlighting.

It's karaoke time with the BFF Show. We treat you to some Cameo- Word Up. Sean admits that he sings karaoke because he's a detention seeker and he also advises that Mikey learn a dance.

Relationship advice from The BFF Show: If you hit a dry spell in your love life.... you can try a new club, hit an online dating site, craigslist, ask friends to hook you up, get a hooker..... or stick your cock in a vacuum at a carwash. Serious discussion on the morality of this act and infectious laughter follows. Bitch get me a beer.

P.S. Never google the phrase " man with penis in vacuum". Trust me.

Song: Soullive- "Freedom"

The BFF Show presents an American portrait of family health and fitness, courtesy of WipeSwap. Yet another reason chicken nuggets should be illegal. Fried salad anyone?? During this discussion Sean confuses a playmate's fish impression for a homosexual advance. Where the hell did that come from???? Back on topic... McDonaldland orgy...ok.. crossed the line. McNuggets fucking Grimace?? Honestly Sean J.

Wrestling Geek Alert: Wrestlemania talk: "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, "Y2J" Chris Jerico, "Nature Boy" Ric Flair, and Micky "The Wrestler" Rourke in action this year.... did I lose ya???

Song: Peach Stealing Monkey- "Where Did You Sleep Last Night?"

Drunk driving on a motorized bar stool?? Apparently Kyle "The Stick Figure" wrecked his bar stool.He claims he was not drunk when he wrecked it, but started a binge directly after the accident....of course, isn't that how it always happens?

This segment also gives us a new term... Nork. Kyle " The Stick Figure" said it, I googled it.... you won't believe what it actually means. Don't ruin it for yourself and peek... but after listening to the show click here for the proof.

Thanks for tuning into The BFF Show #12 Norkin' Grimace. Hope you've enjoyed your stay...

Love ya...

Mikey

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

Royale With Cheese And French Fried Potaters - The BFF Show #11

2010-06-27T16:35:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to another BFF Show! Sorry for the hiatus last week, but I (Sean) have been in the process of moving from Calgary to Edmonton and Mikey was crying in his blankie over another breakup, or something. I don't know - I really don't pay attention.

Let me just start this show off by saying how much I love podcasters - the sights, the smells, the social behavior - they're really great people. Coming from an racist, woman-hating homophobe like myself, that's saying something.

Here's a tip for the kids out there: when you move from one city to another, make sure you have a place to live. Oh, and pothead internet installers can get you deals on PVRs... and Boxer beer gives you the shits... and always hide the files on your desktop.

T

he BFF Show's own superfan, Brent, calls in to relay a story about some C who rejected him in high school and now - after her life has gone down the toilet - wants to be his Facebook friend. This leads Mikey and myself into a few stories of love lost, including my Jr. High crush.

Song #1 - Supersuckers - Bubblegum and Beer

Some dope called 911 three times to complain about her service at McDonalds. These calls come up every once in a while, and the caller never looks good. Enjoy your McDouble, fatty!

Brent calls in again to tell us that he gives The BFF Show two listens - which I would recommend to anyone. The first listen is to hear his own voicemail. The second is to enjoy the genius opinions of yours truly... oh, and Mikey.

Song #2 - Freestyle Fellowship - Cornbread

Mikey found a story about a kid who was forced to eat food out of a trashcan. When I was in high school, I took a huge bite out of some cafeteria fried chicken and blood squirted out. Mikey thinks there should be a global ban on chicken. Being a self-respecting black man who loves all forms of chicken, I can't fully commit to that, but I'm willing to be entertained by the thought.

Hey! Look who's calling in. It's Brent. I really think we need to get some more fans (206) 350-4452 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (206) 350-4452 end_of_the_skype_highlighting.

On to the competition - It looks like two ghetto beauties have started a BFF Show franchise. Well, since we're equal opportunists on The [original] BFF show, we'd like to extend the olive branch. Erika and Ashley, if you're out there, contact us at bffshow@gmail.com and we'll do a joint show.

Song #3 - Cody ChesnuTT - Upstarts in a Blowout

I recently noticed that a friend of mine has had a lot of plastic surgery on her face - which is a shame, because she was such a pretty woman, naturally. Ah, well. Looks like another one of these is in the making.

Brent calls... again...

I just want to state again, for the record, I love podcasters.

Song #4 - Dropkick Murphys - Tessie

Apparently, Bob Dylan stinks. So much, in fact, that his neighbours are complaining. It's like a petri dish of communal waste, and I think it should be in the Smithsonian.

Song #5 - Charles Wright - Do Your Thing

That's it for the marathon show, kids. Remember to join the Facebook group and add us as a friend on Twitter!

- BFF

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

Cat Bongs and BeerT- The BFF Show #10

2010-06-27T16:34:00.000-07:00

Hi boys and girls, It's Mikey... the cute BFF, here with your show notes for episode 10.

Sean J starts this one off with a bang, ranting on how he hates podcasters, vid casters, rapid regurgitators, smarmy wonky eyes, and groundhog donkey punches. He also advocates the random flashing of politicians..especially Mitt Romney.

In the wake of a BFF Show coffee disaster... we break to Hot Rod Lincoln by Commander Cody

Sean has a cup of camping coffee that tastes like shit... no seriously...

We somehow wander into a conversation about smurfs... to sum it up, here's what the smurfs taught the BFF Show:

1. Women start out evil and it's up to men to make them good... and

2. Anything black is evil.

After that we need something..... how about some Pills by The Last Poets Following the song, we have a voice mail from Brent from Gapage. I support his mission to give Sean J shit. Remember... he's the easy target on the BFF Show. I know how to make molotovs.
Sean has found a list of the top 10 worst ways to end a relationship/break up. Much to my surprise I had done 8 of these things. I figured I would score a perfect 10.

Maybe our female BFFs can chime in on the voicemail line- (206) 350-1358... let us know about all the shitty ways you've been dumped. Please don't mention my name if it was me....

As a great follow up we have former Stray Cats bassist Lee Rocker with Crazy When She Drinks.

A local Nebraska man is doing us proud. It seems he had a high strung cat that liked to bite him... so he made a bong that looks like a ghostbuster's trap so the cat could share a bud with him.

I think that Sean J, myself, and the deptys in the Lincoln area agree, animal abuse isn't funny... and neither are newscasters. If your cat is high strung, grab some BeerT and be jammage.

Somehow, after the lesion club and Sean shares memories of late nights with the New Kids on the Block, we talk about Tracy Morgan.

I think he's annoying, and I'm sure Sean wants to give him a handjob. Inside jokes are the best....Shucky Ducky Quack Quack.

Time for a break.... Sean needs more coffee. Here's ABC's by K'Naan.

Listener participation time.... The voice mail topics are: shitty break ups and who would win in a gang fight, Menudo or New Edition. You can use any combination of members of either band, even Ronnie Devoe aka Liz-ra. Be careful.... I think he's a biter.

To wrap up this show, we discuss a video we recently watched. It seems back in late 08 in the Seattle area a naughty little 15 year old girl went for a joy ride and ended up getting a beat down by some big bad cops. This is no ordinary beat down...it's pretty brutal. I mean, I'm sure I could take it, but Sean J would be crying like Nancy Karrigan. Anyhow.... we'll post the vids and you can decide if this little girl deserved what she got. Keep in mind she may have had bomb shoes.

Just when you thought the show was over and we were fucking loony for making up stupid ass words, you get the bonus footage that lets you in on our little jokes. See... we weren't smoking gay weed and drinking BeerT.

Thanks for joining us for yet another hour of shit and fabricated facts. Don't forget to join our network over at www.thebffshow.com . You can interact with your hosts and other listeners and help mold this show. Come on...we need somebody else to blame for this crap. - Mikey

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

Forum Topic: Who picked that song?? Try to guess if it was Mikey or Sean J that picked the song.

Voice Mail Topics 762-233-7469 : Who would win- Menudo or New Edition?

What's the shittiest way you've been dumped?

Amy Winehouse's Tattooed Tit and Other Distractions - The BFF Show #9

2010-06-27T16:31:00.000-07:00

Hey-ho, BFFs! This is Sean J writing your shownotes today. Mikey’s on vacation in Thailand - something about exploring native habits and medicines - so we’ll have to handle this one on our own.

We start off the show with one of my song pics: You Just Can’t Win by Them. It’s one of those songs I’ve always pictured in a movie - maybe about an outcast teen with an abusive father or during a montage of an ex-prostitute making her way through the mid-west to California in the hopes of landing a record deal.

Thanks to everyone who’s signing up for The BFF Show network! Now, if only we can get a few more Canadians on here, we can complete the invasion we planned 75 years ago.

For the newcomer, Mikey and myself met - face to face - for the first time in a Podcasting convention. In actuality, we did meet a little while before then, but we’ll save that story for another time.

Mikey might have to cut the show short this time, as he has a female friend paying a short visit soon. Let’s see how this one plays out. By the way Mikey clams up every time we talk about her, it sounds like someone’s hopin’ for a little touch.

Mikey seems a little distracted today, and that may be for multiple reasons. All I know is, he’s assembled a prize pack for some listeners. We’re still working on the scheduling for the live shows, but Mikey has promised to go into detail in the REAL first live BFF Show.

Song #1 - Pot Kettle Black by Tilly and the Wall

I’ll admit something right here and now - I’m a closet wrestling fan. Since Mikey’s out of the closet, we can openly discuss a little WWE - in particular, the Royal Rumble PPV. Usually, this is the one PPV I go out of my way to watch. Sadly, this one only had two highlights. The biggest one was, undoubtedly, the appearance of - quite possibly - my favourite character in the history of wrestling: Golddust (constant boner and all).

Of course, we can’t bring up wrestling without talking about everyone’s favourite nice guy, Mick Foley. He seems like a great guy, not like wife-beater mouth HBK...

Song #2 - Something’s Changed by Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings

A message to Tilly and the Wall: I LOVE the tapping gimmick. We both agree that there’s a White Stripes-ish feel to the band. Even though neither of us are big fans of Stripes, we’re both intrigued by the fact that Meg White - or any celebrity - has nude pictures available. Including Amy Winehouse - who has some great shots available. Porn, porn, porn...

After determining that Mikey’s a judge, it’s time to get serious and talk about the economy. Isn’t is shitty to be jobless?

Enough of that.

Mikey’s distracted, and it’s obvious. If only crazy pussy would walk through the door and call the show early. Oh, wait! It’s Mikey’s friend, Crazy Pussy!

‘Night, folks!

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

The BFF Show: Pie Face - Episode #7

2010-06-27T16:30:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to another recap of The BFF Show with Mikey and Sean J! I’ll be your gracious host through this virtual voyage into the lives of an alcohol-fueled Albertan and a recently-sober Nebraskanite.

We start off this show with a little talk about our annoying neighbours. More specifically, Sean J’s (that’s me) dysfunctional relations and how they’re ruining the view from my back yard.

Mikey fires back with a story of his klepto neighbours, who repeatedly scour through his garbage. Naturally, with the minds of entrepreneurs, we find a way to turn this into a business venture.

First Song: The Dudes - Mom 100

So, Chris Jericho (aka Chris Irvine) ‘pie-faced’ a fan in Victoria, BC. I thought Mikey and I would be in disagreement on this one, but surprisingly, we agreed. As a matter of fact, I’d do a jig on her face while Mikey beat her with a spatula.

I’m just realizing that our conversations go much more smoothly when I’m not drinking coffee. It’s settled, then! More booze for Sean!

The other thing I noticed is that, when excited, I become a fast-talker. Mikey is as cool as a Russian dildo and we end up arguing about Chris Jericho’s real name.

As I wrap up these shownotes, Mikey, who was grabbing the accompanying pictures, sent me this note:

"I am about to puke.... you try Googling The Deformities for an hour and see what wonderfully gross shit you come up with"

So, with that, the second song we played was The Deformities - Jimmy Drug Bug

Oh, and Mikey was right on the Jericho name. Damn it.

Big-up Medicine Hat!

Contact Us:

* Email: BFFshow@gmail.com

* Twitter: Twitter.com/TheBFFShow

* Voicemail: 762-233-7469

* Subscribe to the Show Here

* Listen to the Show Here

- Mikey and Sean J